My Friend Randy and My Journey Through Revivalism
NOTE: This post is a little long but I didn't want to split up the sections into separate posts. This is one of the most personal things I have ever posted. Please believe me that this is not simply finger-pointing. It is my own struggle to work through what Christian community is all about and what it means to bring the Gospel into the world.
Some Background
With the recent controversy concerning Ted Haggard storming in the media, I have been reflecting quite a bit on issues surrounding accountability, discipleship, and personal holiness. Many people around the blogosphere have raised great points about pastoral care and accountability for those in leadership and teaching positions. Of course this is critical (and all too often absent). Such accountability and discipleship are equally as important for lay people. In either case, what it boils down to, in many ways, is whether a church body is willing to love a brother or sister in spite of their sins and through their sins in a way that preaches forgiveness and the need to live a lifestyle of repentance. The sad fact is this is rare. Thinking about these things forced me to think about an ongoing situation in my life that I feel is related to these issues. It is the story of Randy (not his real name). Before I get into his story let me give you some of my background that will answer a lot of questions as to why I am thinking about this in this manner.
I grew up in small denominational Baptist churches. These were not SBC, but a smaller, fundamental sort. The particular denomination is not really important. But from the time I can remember, I went to church. There were so many good things about these churches. The people were generally very nice and down to earth. The food was great when we had dinner on the ground. Music was important in these churches. The flavor of choice was gospel hymns/songs. Mainly the ones wrote in the 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s that are generally either evangelizing or about heaven. There was, of course, an altar call each Sunday accompanied by one of theses said gospel songs. Nothing unusual here. If you grew in the American Southeast in a rural area, you can likely relate very well. As is often the case, in my opinion, this altar-call experience reigned supreme. No one will stand up and call it necessary for salvation but if you don’t have it, you are suspect. If you have any problems or sin your life you need it—even if you have already had it once, or twice, or more. So I grew up seeing this and living it. I grew seeing that when people strayed or sinned or whatever they were pushed back toward church attendance and the altar. That was the answer. While these churches did teach that one could make a shipwreck out of one’s salvation, the general answer to these situations was that so-and-so didn’t really “get it”. Maybe got it in the head but not the heart. This was final. The one exception was the pastor. Pastors could and did visit and encourage people. I did not, personally, see examples to the contrary. You can hopefully now see how growing up with this and then later learning and reading about Christian community in other traditions would cause one to dwell on discipleship issues. Before going further let me say that this is not a total slam on the churches I grew up in. They are full of believers. They do a lot and stand for a lot that is good.
Okay, up to present day. After a journey of sorts across five years that led me away from these roots and into learning more about the history of the church of Jesus, I find myself somewhat aligned with a similar church. I am not a member and it is not the church body I call home but I attended semi-regularly. There are a lot of great people there. It is independent and differs doctrinally but not practically from the churches I grew up in. Enter Randy. Randy and someone in my extended family staged an ill-advised Las Vegas wedding about two or three years ago. At the time she knew that he had problems with alcohol and cocaine. No one else knew or if they did, they didn’t tell me. Then began the roller-coaster of being sober, falling down, kicking his wife out of the house, wanting a divorce, making up, and so on. Randy has the capacity to make a fine living but his finances crumbled and he has been on the borderline of legal problems bankruptcy for some time. During all of this many people hoped Randy would “go to church”. Eventually, he did. He and his wife went to the church I mentioned. They would go semi-regularly. Randy’s in-laws were happy that he was “in church”. The pastor because of his relationship with Randy’s in-laws knew a lot about his situation. He knew what Randy was fighting.
Going Forward
One Sunday things were a little different. After the sermon, during the invitation song Randy went forward to the altar to “accept Christ” or whatever term you prefer. I was not there that Sunday. I can say with a high level of confidence that I believe Randy heard the Gospel in that sermon. Almost every Sunday I have been there, the Gospel is preached. I don’t know the conversation that went on between the pastor and Randy. I don’t know for certain how the congregants interacted with him. But really, I do know. It was all or nothing. Randy had come forward. He had prayed the prayer. He was in. The Lord would deliver him from all his woes IF what he had just done was genuine. And that is where almost everyone left the situation.
Randy came back to the church semi-regularly. He was not baptized. I don’t know if anyone asked him to be or explained to him why he would want to be. Within a few weeks, he was a little dissatisfied with the church. This or that didn’t sit well with him and so-and-so talks so much about drug addiction. Excuses, but that’s what he said. It was not a huge surprise to me when he stopped attending. It was not a huge surprise to me when he fell off the wagon, again. Disappearing from home for a few days at a time. Spending money that wasn’t there. You know the story. Now, Randy is a grown man and he stands responsible for all his decisions. But at the time one thing weighed heavy on my mind—what has anyone from the church where he was “saved” done or said to him since he has fallen back into the habits of addiction? I am sure that my tone and wording so far have given away the answer—Nothing. Not one word about coke or alcohol. Not one question about it. Nothing. Even after he made yet another white-knuckle attempt at sobriety and attended church again, there were no questions. Randy’s wife even asked some men (one of whom is her family member) that do weekly door-to-door cold call evangelism and some visitation to come talk with Randy. It just wouldn’t work. Couldn’t do it for this reason and that. Nothing.
Why is it like this? This is not a church for only beautiful people. There are a variety of socioeconomic classes, a variety of races, a variety of backgrounds represented there. There are people there with real problems. The church reaches out to people in the jail and to mentally handicapped people. But not really to their own, well sometimes. Why? In my opinion it is because the altar call reigns supreme and there is no room for being in a battle with open, ugly sin like addictions. If you really “get it” then you are delivered. Even if it took you 25 years to get yourself in your present condition, one trip forward guarantees results. See, to go and counsel someone and to love them in their sin would be to question the system. You might have to admit that this person is a follower of Jesus and is just really screwed up. You might have to admit that what he needs is not another trip to the altar but the love and support of the body as he wars against sin. But that doesn’t fit well. It does not reconcile with “just a little talk with Jesus will make it right”. So the best fit is to say that folks like Randy didn’t get it and that they need, you’re ahead of me on this I know, to get back into church. And on we go. My little side notes are making this longer but I need to insert another one. I am not entirely convinced that Randy believes the Gospel. I don’t know his heart, so I can’t know. I also know that he does not speak or act like repentance is anywhere on his radar and he refuses to admit his problems. But if you believe that going to the altar and praying gets you in then you have to treat him as brother and I haven’t seen that.
Where We Are Now
Since the time of his altar experience, life has been a roller coaster for Randy and his wife. Up and down with each down being nearer and nearer to either death or all out financial ruin. I went and talked with him about nine months ago. I offered my help and admitted I didn’t know what it would be. I told him I knew he had gone to church but if wanted to seriously talk about what it means to follow Christ that I wanted to talk with him about it. You know his response, “Yeah, that would be good sometime. Right now I just need to get my self together. If I can just get my thoughts and work straightened out then I can work on other stuff. But I do appreciate it.” I believe he did. I now see Randy regularly. We share meals. I talked to him this week after a binge. I told him he was killing himself. He agreed. He also said that he could drop the drugs and alcohol anytime he wanted. I asked him why he hadn’t. He said he had never really wanted to. (This will be familiar to anyone who has seen someone go through this.) I said that if he wanted help with the substance abuse I would find him that help. All he has to do is say the word. Cue the tape from nine months ago and play the response.
My heart breaks for Randy. I have lost sleep over him. Partly because of the human pain he is in and partly because I am somewhat connected to the church that has let him down. My wife and I talk about the situation. We ask each other, ‘where is the power of the Gospel here?’, ‘how do we show him Christ’s love and be honest with him?’. I don’t have a lot of answers.
Randy and his wife are in a new church now. A few weeks ago when Randy fell on his face again and then felt awful and swore it all off again, he said he talked to his new pastor. I have to say “said” because Randy lies often. But according to Randy, the pastor told him that the best thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and wished him well. I don’t know if that is true but I am inclined to believe it. I believe it because Randy and his wife “tithe” at this church. They are open about it. Randy told me it was the reason that his financing were straightening up. I attended this church once. Randy didn’t go with us that day. There was more talk and instruction given before passing the coffers than before passing the bread and wine. Maybe this is too harsh. I won’t explicitly connect the dots but they are there. I also learned that it is my words that “enact the power of the blood of Jesus” but I cannot get into that now.
So here’s Randy with his altar call experience behind him stuck neck-deep in addiction and lies and he also awash in sea of misguided evangelism and revivalism. I want to say again—No church or pastor is responsible for Randy’s addictions or choices. He is. He stands accountable. But my heart breaks at the thought of him going to two churches and coming away empty. My heart breaks for him that on Sunday morning “while the music plays” he was a brother and good guy but on Wednesday when rents a hotel room and snorts $1,000 he is something else. All or nothing. Get it or don’t. God have mercy on us.
Pray for Randy. Pray for me. I don’t feel at all innocent in this and I don’t have answers. I do know that Jesus is the answer. He is the answer for me, for addicts, for everyone. I just want to be able to live that out and preach it in words and deeds so that Randy can. Pray that God might open his ears and eyes and that the Good Shepherd would so inclined to walk out among the cliffs and briars and pick him and bring him into the fold.
Some Background
With the recent controversy concerning Ted Haggard storming in the media, I have been reflecting quite a bit on issues surrounding accountability, discipleship, and personal holiness. Many people around the blogosphere have raised great points about pastoral care and accountability for those in leadership and teaching positions. Of course this is critical (and all too often absent). Such accountability and discipleship are equally as important for lay people. In either case, what it boils down to, in many ways, is whether a church body is willing to love a brother or sister in spite of their sins and through their sins in a way that preaches forgiveness and the need to live a lifestyle of repentance. The sad fact is this is rare. Thinking about these things forced me to think about an ongoing situation in my life that I feel is related to these issues. It is the story of Randy (not his real name). Before I get into his story let me give you some of my background that will answer a lot of questions as to why I am thinking about this in this manner.
I grew up in small denominational Baptist churches. These were not SBC, but a smaller, fundamental sort. The particular denomination is not really important. But from the time I can remember, I went to church. There were so many good things about these churches. The people were generally very nice and down to earth. The food was great when we had dinner on the ground. Music was important in these churches. The flavor of choice was gospel hymns/songs. Mainly the ones wrote in the 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s that are generally either evangelizing or about heaven. There was, of course, an altar call each Sunday accompanied by one of theses said gospel songs. Nothing unusual here. If you grew in the American Southeast in a rural area, you can likely relate very well. As is often the case, in my opinion, this altar-call experience reigned supreme. No one will stand up and call it necessary for salvation but if you don’t have it, you are suspect. If you have any problems or sin your life you need it—even if you have already had it once, or twice, or more. So I grew up seeing this and living it. I grew seeing that when people strayed or sinned or whatever they were pushed back toward church attendance and the altar. That was the answer. While these churches did teach that one could make a shipwreck out of one’s salvation, the general answer to these situations was that so-and-so didn’t really “get it”. Maybe got it in the head but not the heart. This was final. The one exception was the pastor. Pastors could and did visit and encourage people. I did not, personally, see examples to the contrary. You can hopefully now see how growing up with this and then later learning and reading about Christian community in other traditions would cause one to dwell on discipleship issues. Before going further let me say that this is not a total slam on the churches I grew up in. They are full of believers. They do a lot and stand for a lot that is good.
Okay, up to present day. After a journey of sorts across five years that led me away from these roots and into learning more about the history of the church of Jesus, I find myself somewhat aligned with a similar church. I am not a member and it is not the church body I call home but I attended semi-regularly. There are a lot of great people there. It is independent and differs doctrinally but not practically from the churches I grew up in. Enter Randy. Randy and someone in my extended family staged an ill-advised Las Vegas wedding about two or three years ago. At the time she knew that he had problems with alcohol and cocaine. No one else knew or if they did, they didn’t tell me. Then began the roller-coaster of being sober, falling down, kicking his wife out of the house, wanting a divorce, making up, and so on. Randy has the capacity to make a fine living but his finances crumbled and he has been on the borderline of legal problems bankruptcy for some time. During all of this many people hoped Randy would “go to church”. Eventually, he did. He and his wife went to the church I mentioned. They would go semi-regularly. Randy’s in-laws were happy that he was “in church”. The pastor because of his relationship with Randy’s in-laws knew a lot about his situation. He knew what Randy was fighting.
Going Forward
One Sunday things were a little different. After the sermon, during the invitation song Randy went forward to the altar to “accept Christ” or whatever term you prefer. I was not there that Sunday. I can say with a high level of confidence that I believe Randy heard the Gospel in that sermon. Almost every Sunday I have been there, the Gospel is preached. I don’t know the conversation that went on between the pastor and Randy. I don’t know for certain how the congregants interacted with him. But really, I do know. It was all or nothing. Randy had come forward. He had prayed the prayer. He was in. The Lord would deliver him from all his woes IF what he had just done was genuine. And that is where almost everyone left the situation.
Randy came back to the church semi-regularly. He was not baptized. I don’t know if anyone asked him to be or explained to him why he would want to be. Within a few weeks, he was a little dissatisfied with the church. This or that didn’t sit well with him and so-and-so talks so much about drug addiction. Excuses, but that’s what he said. It was not a huge surprise to me when he stopped attending. It was not a huge surprise to me when he fell off the wagon, again. Disappearing from home for a few days at a time. Spending money that wasn’t there. You know the story. Now, Randy is a grown man and he stands responsible for all his decisions. But at the time one thing weighed heavy on my mind—what has anyone from the church where he was “saved” done or said to him since he has fallen back into the habits of addiction? I am sure that my tone and wording so far have given away the answer—Nothing. Not one word about coke or alcohol. Not one question about it. Nothing. Even after he made yet another white-knuckle attempt at sobriety and attended church again, there were no questions. Randy’s wife even asked some men (one of whom is her family member) that do weekly door-to-door cold call evangelism and some visitation to come talk with Randy. It just wouldn’t work. Couldn’t do it for this reason and that. Nothing.
Why is it like this? This is not a church for only beautiful people. There are a variety of socioeconomic classes, a variety of races, a variety of backgrounds represented there. There are people there with real problems. The church reaches out to people in the jail and to mentally handicapped people. But not really to their own, well sometimes. Why? In my opinion it is because the altar call reigns supreme and there is no room for being in a battle with open, ugly sin like addictions. If you really “get it” then you are delivered. Even if it took you 25 years to get yourself in your present condition, one trip forward guarantees results. See, to go and counsel someone and to love them in their sin would be to question the system. You might have to admit that this person is a follower of Jesus and is just really screwed up. You might have to admit that what he needs is not another trip to the altar but the love and support of the body as he wars against sin. But that doesn’t fit well. It does not reconcile with “just a little talk with Jesus will make it right”. So the best fit is to say that folks like Randy didn’t get it and that they need, you’re ahead of me on this I know, to get back into church. And on we go. My little side notes are making this longer but I need to insert another one. I am not entirely convinced that Randy believes the Gospel. I don’t know his heart, so I can’t know. I also know that he does not speak or act like repentance is anywhere on his radar and he refuses to admit his problems. But if you believe that going to the altar and praying gets you in then you have to treat him as brother and I haven’t seen that.
Where We Are Now
Since the time of his altar experience, life has been a roller coaster for Randy and his wife. Up and down with each down being nearer and nearer to either death or all out financial ruin. I went and talked with him about nine months ago. I offered my help and admitted I didn’t know what it would be. I told him I knew he had gone to church but if wanted to seriously talk about what it means to follow Christ that I wanted to talk with him about it. You know his response, “Yeah, that would be good sometime. Right now I just need to get my self together. If I can just get my thoughts and work straightened out then I can work on other stuff. But I do appreciate it.” I believe he did. I now see Randy regularly. We share meals. I talked to him this week after a binge. I told him he was killing himself. He agreed. He also said that he could drop the drugs and alcohol anytime he wanted. I asked him why he hadn’t. He said he had never really wanted to. (This will be familiar to anyone who has seen someone go through this.) I said that if he wanted help with the substance abuse I would find him that help. All he has to do is say the word. Cue the tape from nine months ago and play the response.
My heart breaks for Randy. I have lost sleep over him. Partly because of the human pain he is in and partly because I am somewhat connected to the church that has let him down. My wife and I talk about the situation. We ask each other, ‘where is the power of the Gospel here?’, ‘how do we show him Christ’s love and be honest with him?’. I don’t have a lot of answers.
Randy and his wife are in a new church now. A few weeks ago when Randy fell on his face again and then felt awful and swore it all off again, he said he talked to his new pastor. I have to say “said” because Randy lies often. But according to Randy, the pastor told him that the best thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and wished him well. I don’t know if that is true but I am inclined to believe it. I believe it because Randy and his wife “tithe” at this church. They are open about it. Randy told me it was the reason that his financing were straightening up. I attended this church once. Randy didn’t go with us that day. There was more talk and instruction given before passing the coffers than before passing the bread and wine. Maybe this is too harsh. I won’t explicitly connect the dots but they are there. I also learned that it is my words that “enact the power of the blood of Jesus” but I cannot get into that now.
So here’s Randy with his altar call experience behind him stuck neck-deep in addiction and lies and he also awash in sea of misguided evangelism and revivalism. I want to say again—No church or pastor is responsible for Randy’s addictions or choices. He is. He stands accountable. But my heart breaks at the thought of him going to two churches and coming away empty. My heart breaks for him that on Sunday morning “while the music plays” he was a brother and good guy but on Wednesday when rents a hotel room and snorts $1,000 he is something else. All or nothing. Get it or don’t. God have mercy on us.
Pray for Randy. Pray for me. I don’t feel at all innocent in this and I don’t have answers. I do know that Jesus is the answer. He is the answer for me, for addicts, for everyone. I just want to be able to live that out and preach it in words and deeds so that Randy can. Pray that God might open his ears and eyes and that the Good Shepherd would so inclined to walk out among the cliffs and briars and pick him and bring him into the fold.
posted by BKC | 12:41 PM
11 Comments:
Maybe this is shallow. I don't know. I lived in a "christian rehab center" for about 18 months trying to get my act together after losing my wife and 3 kids. My issue was depression, severe and chronic, and anger. I lived with people who were drug adicts and saw no difference between myself and them. I just knew that if I started I would probably be easily addicted.
The place was really legalistic. People had this good intentioned idea of a place where people could get a new start. I worked in a dairy. Really enjoyed it. Ended up getting a license to fill these huge trucks. But the spiritual side was horrible. I thought and still think that more damage was done than good. I've used a lot of cuss words thinking about it.
Eventually my wife had mercy beyond what I deserved partly because she was impressed that I would go to such extremes to try to salvage my relationship with her.
I write the above to say that my experience there really has made me very concerned about how churches that try to help poeple really cause so much damage to people. I often think of what it would be like to have a place where troubled people could go.
Over the last several years I have become convinced that churches by and large are not offering what Christ desires to give. And most people that go there really don't go to get what Christ is offering: The forgiveness of the sins that we do everyday.
We go forward to get better or to dedicate ourselves or perhaps to look good in the eyes of others. But what if everybody coming into the building coming was like those in the OT coming to the tabernacle knowing that some blood had to be shed for them for the things they had done that week? What if everyone was required to say, "I have sinned this week and am a scumball". I mean everyone.
Would this help a man like Randy if he saw someone he thought was "strong" going up and recieving the forgiveness of God? Would it help him to be able to admit his own weaknesses and realize that God was still there for Him in spite of himself? Probably.
You cannot read his heart. It will never be yours to read. Its not our business. You must take him at his word and fellowship around the blood that was shed. If he admits he needs it then what else can you ask for?
As I have learned some things over the last several years I can tell, my wife can see, that somehow I'm different. But I am so far from what I know that I should be. Life was hell for many, many year. From childhood until my mid 40's. Now I actually have days that I enjoy. I'm not as functional as I would like but better on the whole than I was. I wish that for others who have been in the dark despair of depression and compulsive behaviors.
You asked for comments. So I though I would jump in.
Hey Brian,
I finally got around to reading your long blog. I can relate to your struggle with Randy and the culture of the "altar call". Have you read "The Divine Conspiracy". Willard does an excellent job of exposing the fallacy behind what he calls "bar-code Christianity". Here is an excerpt from the book:
"On a recent radio program a prominent minister spent fifteen minutes enforcing the point that “justification,” the forgiveness of sins, involves no change at all in the heart or personality of the one forgiven. It is, he insisted, something entirely external to you, located wholly in God himself. His intent was to emphasize the familiar Protestant point that salvation is by God’s grace only and is totally independent of what we may do. But what he in fact said was that being a Christian has nothing to do with the kind of person you are. The implications of this teaching are stunning.
The theology of Christian trinkets says there is something about the Christian that works like the bar code. Some ritual, some belief, or some association with a group affects God the way the bar code affects the scanner. Perhaps there has occurred a moment of mental assent to a creed, or an association entered into with a church. God “scans” us, and forgiveness flows forth. An appropriate amount of righteousness is shifted from Christ’s account to our account in the bank of heaven, and all our debts are paid. We are, accordingly, “saved.” Our guilt is erased. How could we not be Christians? (pp. 36-7)
So, I agree with you Brian that these altar calls such as Randy experienced are quite likely doing more harm than good - leading him to assume he is a follower of Christ when in fact he may not be. For me personally, I thought about it for almost a year before I knew I was willing to take up my cross and follow Him. Even then, it was a series of decisions. When I started truly walking with Christ, I began attending a Baptist Church. One day the pastor said that if you did not have the date you were saved written in the front of the bible, the devil might cause you one day to question your salvation. Thankfully, I had my wits about me enough to think "man, that's stupid".
Greg Graham
Steve S.,
Thanks for jumping in with the comment. I appreciate your thoughts. Let me respond to just a couple of your points...
"I often think of what it would be like to have a place where troubled people could go."
I agree. I don't expect a church to set up programs for every problem imaginable. I just wish someone would stand up and say if you are an addict or fill-in-the-blank then you need professional help. Even if you go to the altar, you will most likely need professional help. Then love the person through the process. Just honesty.
"What if everyone was required to say, "I have sinned this week and am a scumball". I mean everyone."
Well, I might back off the term scumball :) I do think, however, this is where liturgical, corporate prayer of confession is very useful and important.
"You cannot read his heart. It will never be yours to read. Its not our business. You must take him at his word and fellowship around the blood that was shed. If he admits he needs it then what else can you ask for?"
You are right and I said the same. I will never know for sure. That is fine with me. I am not anyone's judge. I honestly don't know if he would admit needing the blood outside of the context of Sunday morning. But I am offering my fellowship and honesty about the gospel. What ticks me off is when a church puts so much stock in the altar call experience and then refuses to treat someone as a brother who went forward because they are in open sin. It is hypocrisy and it is logically inconsistent.
Thanks again for your thoughts and for your honesty.
Greg,
Maybe I didn't communicate very well but I don't think the problem with Randy is any sort of easy believism. I don't think he has an inflated sense of security from his altar call experience. Rather, I think that because he fell into open, ugly, sinful behavior AFTER the experience the church wrote him off. There was no hand up or "how's it going?". Nothing. I agree with Willard and you that altar call mentality has created easly believism problems. But I really don't see it in this case.
Thanks for commenting.
Brian,
I see what you mean about your primary concern. I just think you can't really separate the issue of easy believism and the church's inability to help Randy. Because the church is focused upon the altar call as the "end-all-do-all" - as you so clearly described in your post - then getting to person to "receive Christ" at the altar is the means AND the end. So there is no process (means) by which one counts the cost, nor is there a goal (end) of becoming like Christ. SO, if the altar call is the means and the end, then why would they offer to help Randy. He has arrived!
In my exposure to that "altar call" culture, the only real goal for Christians who want to be more mature is that they get others to make such a decision. So, they likely have no real spiritual wisdom or insight from which to speak into Randy's life anyway. In the final analysis, the whole system is sick, very sick.
Good points Greg.
After re-reading your post I realize that I was knee jerking according to some issues that I have gone through.
I think that churches think that, if they were successful, they would be able to bring everybody to a certain "maturity". And of course if people were more like Jesus they wouldn't need any help. And so they resist sending people to other sources to find the medical and psychological help that may be needed in addicted people.
The place I was at had "Jesus is the Answer" in big bold letters on the milk trucks that we filled. They meant it too. No one else had anything to say so why go anywhere else? Sad.
Steve, That does sound misguided and sad. Thanks again for your input.
Greg,
I'm sorry this comment comes late, but I realy have something to say about this subject. You see, I am a sex addict. Sex addiction is a compulsive behavioral addiction akin to gambling. I have been in recovery for 2 years now, and have stayed relatively sober for about 1 year now.
When I began my trip into reovery, I was a member of a mid-sized church. The altar call experience is very much part of the culture within my branch of evangelicalism. It is however, only one facet of a church that values personal emotional experience over the sacrificial discipline of 'Relationships'. Ask anyone how their personal relationship with Jesus is, and they'll readily tell you its great. Ask them how their personal relationship is with the 'least of these', and their answer is not as quick to come, if at all.
I am not saying this in anger or condemnation. I cannot blame them for their behavior because, prior to my addiciton, I was exactly the same. Brennan Manning said it better than I in this:
The letter of James counsels: Confess your sins to one another (James 5:16 ).
This salutary practice aims to guide us in accepting ownership of our ragamuffin status, but as Dietrich Bonhoeffer noted, “He who is alone with his sins is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, not withstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness. The final breakthrough to fellowship does not occur because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everyone must conceal his sin from himself and from their fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners! At Sunday worship, as in every dimension of our existence, many of us pretend to believe we are sinners. Consequently, all we can do is pretend to believe we have been forgiven. As a result, our whole spiritual life is pseudo-repentance and pseudo-bliss.
-Brennan Manning
Now, in the middle-later stages of my recovery, I've found that the church, in general, has very little to offer in the way of community. In its place, I attend a secret meeting of sex addicts, adulterers, pedophiles, voyeurs, and philanderers. We are the lepers of the 21st century, and the church wants nothing to do with us. The 'drunk-a-logue' that we have every week, is a confession of the soul that squarely faces up to our depravity and admits that 'Jesus is our only hope'. When we say that 'Jesus is our hope', it is understood to mean 'Jesus gives us the grace and hope to become the kind of people that don't behave this way, however, ever step in that direction is one WE make in response to that hope.' There are no altar calls, exorcisms, 'or praying through'. Instead we have agape love, accoutability, and honesty...yes honesty, even among addicts. When a group is safe, when everyone's soul is laid bare, when a practical example of Christ's table felowship with taxcollectors is acted out in front of someone, they respond with honesty...I've seen it.
Back to the altar call. The disconnect as I see it, comes when its practitioners see it as the actual working of Chirst in our life, rather than a symbolic act. I wish it were that easy, but becoming christlike takes more than: chewing some bread and wine, being immersed in water, saying a creed, or responding to an altar call. Its the Southern Sacrement. And since some branches of Evangelicalsim have downplayed the importance of the other sacraments, this one gets disproportionately large in the vaccum.
What we need is, as you said, community in our fellowship. We need to be allowed to fail in church. Our society as a whole discourages displays of weakness, but for all our talk of 'strength in weakness', this discouragement is honed into a razor's edge within the church. I share your sadness over how our local fellowship has become the venue at which we display our latest attempt at perfection. I've been working against this trend with a small fellowship that I'm leading. In the meantime, I consider myself a missionary to the lepers of our age (me included). Peace, and I pray your friend Randy can find a group like the one I attend.
Anonymous,
Thank you for your comments. I am glad that you have found a community where confession and repentance is accepted and practiced. We have been trying to get Randy and his wife into a group over the past few weeks. I too am hoping he finds a group.
May God bless you and those in your group.
FYI--Greg was a commenter on this post
Sorry about that...my mistake. Thans again for posting your story...
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